Tomorrow is the lovely and very meaningful holiday of St. Patrick’s Day, when green shamrock-printed gift bags go on clearance at craft stores, kids wear green to avoid getting pinched by big bullies, and bloggers blog about making cocktails and booze-infused shamrock sugar cookies for their St. Patrick’s Day festivities. I’m all for holidays, but I don’t have any real connection with Saint Patrick’s day and have never celebrated it beyond wearing a green sticker on my hand at elementary school out of necessity.
Still, I’d be shunned from the food blog world if I did not come up with something to make for Saint Patrick’s day. But what to make? Since this is also a health blog, there was no chance I’d be baking sugary, refined-carb sweets with green food coloring and green candy sprinkles that don’t tell you the ingredients on the package because there are two many to fit on the label on the container. And I’m a little young to be whipping up green beer or fancy cocktails for a drinking party (I’m only fifteen!) So I decided to make a drink – but not that kind of drink. The kind that, instead of alcohol, is infused with fresh, nutritious goodness.
I’m going to share this recipe with you, even though just thinking about the whole fiasco makes me sad. Honestly, my entire day was tragic, starting with this morning when I was making this smoothie. Though it is Saturday, I had to get up relatively early to show up for a practice ACT test. And waking up early on a Saturday is just a tragedy in itself. But the horror gets worse from there…
So I was up and about, thinking, this is okay. Even though I have to go take this test at 9:00 I still have time to make a smoothie. I took my time lovingly slicing the avocado and banana into the blender, dripping the sticky honey, slow as, well, sticky honey. I blended thoroughly to try and crush all that pesky ice, added my oatmeal for extra fiber to feed my brain before the test, blended it some more, gingerly popped the smoothie in the fridge – and then found out I had two minutes to drink it and get ready to leave. Turns out, when my Mom said I would be there at 8:45, she was implying that at 8:30 I ought to be ready to go. I guess that should have been common sense.
So I just dumped it down the sink. Yeah, wasteful, I know, but I was panicking and at the time it seemed like the easiest solution. My dad rushed me off to school to take the practice test. It took me about one minute to realize this is not the test for me. The way it was presented and the focus on math and science just didn’t work for me, so I’ll stick with the SAT when it comes to the real thing. Not that either are fun, but it’s the lesser of two evils. Too bad I had to waste half of my Saturday, up until 12:50, at school taking a pointless test just to find out that the test was pointless. (Here’s a shot of the smoothie I never got to devour. It just wasn’t meant to be.)
When I got home I wanted to try again with the smoothie, but we didn’t have any bananas so I settled for a cheddar Swiss and apple quesadilla. I finally got to the grocery store and bought some things for the smoothie I wanted to make, as well as Navel oranges because they’re the one fruit my brother will currently eat. I waited in a big long line, got out of the cold, cramped store, walked halfway home, and realized I had not bought the bananas! At least I had plenty of money left over, so I schlepped back over there, grabbed some bananas, and waited in line again. The population of customers in that store had literally multiplied like a bacterial colony during the three minutes I was gone, so I spent about ten minutes or so in line behind a lady buying two cases of wine or liquor or something, trying not to stare at what she was buying but at the same time avoid having to look at the tabloids with grossly exaggerated images of “Best and Worst Beach Bodies: Guess Who?” Honestly, why do these magazines do beach issues all year round? It gets old.
I got home from the store and set about making my smoothie, at last, though it was 4:00 PM already. I was not about to let the entire day be a tragedy. So I blended it up and took a sip – oops! Forgot the honey! That might have helped since this smoothie was quite tart. Still, it tasted pretty good, and it’s marginally “green”, so I’m posting it as my official “Saint Patrick’s Day recipe.” Deal with it.
Avocado Smoothie with Lime and Oatmeal
- 1/2 banana
- 1/4 avocado
- 1/2 nectarine
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1 Greek lime yogurt
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1-2 tbls honey (if you’re smart unlike me and not tragedy-prone)
- 5 ice cubes
- 1 Quaker brand raisin date and walnut instant oatmeal packet
Place all ingredients in blender except oatmeal. Blend until ice is crushed. Add oatmeal and blend for about 20-30 seconds. Pour smoothie in glass and drink a toast to a healthy holiday!