Take Revenge On All Your Obnoxious Teachers!

Are you sick and tired of tyrannical, corrupt teachers who set strict rules for the class – and then don’t even follow those rules? Are you ready for revenge? Here’s how you can exact your revenge on all the teachers who ever violated the age-old school policy of “No Eating in Class”, but wouldn’t let you, the students, do the same.

Well, okay, it’s not really revenge. Probably your teachers will never even know you did this, but you’ll know, and that counts for something…well, at any rate, you’ll get a super delicious muffin out of it. And that will help ease the pain of the corruption in the school system.

Seriously, is there anyone out there who has not had at least one teacher who told the class on the first day that “we don’t allow any food in class because it attracts ants/cockroaches/cookie monsters”, and then proceeded to open up a soda/candy bar/bag of chips? As if vermin are only attracted by the crumbs of students’ food, and not teachers! Not only is this policy hypocritical, it is gross because at some point, even the most dainty teacher will spill something, and then there is a gross mess and the possibility of attracting vermin.

There is a convenience store near my school that sells snacks and some pastries such as danishes and muffins wrapped in plastic. Lots of students and teachers go to that store before school or during a break to buy these pastries (the muffins are the most popular.) But of course, according to unwritten school policy, only teachers are allowed to eat the muffins in class. The students will have to wait until lunch, or risk having their muffin confiscated and eaten by the teacher.

I must say, I’ve gotten awfully fed up with the whole system of hypocrisy that allows teachers to disobey their own rules. It’s also kind of sad to see anyone lowering themselves to eating a store-bought muffin (at least for me as a loyal home baker.) Store-bought muffins are usually preserved with unnatural chemicals to keep them fresh, as well as being super high in sugar and pretty much void of any actual nutrients. Plus, fresh from your oven at home always tastes better. That’s my philosophy.

So I created this super-easy and healthy alternative to those muffins at the convenience store. This is my way of taking revenge on all the unfair teachers I’ve had in all my years at school who would eat in class – I’ve made something better, and enjoyed it all myself! And since I did this at home, no school rule could get in my way.

microwave muffin: banana walnut chocolate

Did I mention that this is a mug muffin? Meaning you make it in the microwave, heat for about a minute, and voila! It’s done. No need to go through all the trouble of a muffin tin, an oven, and finding a place to store a huge batch of muffins. You just do this whenever you feel like it, with no stress involved. The “no-stress” factor is another way to rebel against school, since in general everything involved with school is stressful.

This is one of the great microwave desserts in my history of having them. Some mug cakes can be dry, but this one is very moist, sweet, and delicious. I based it on the giant banana muffins they sell at the convenience store, but I guarantee this one is much healthier. It’s made with whole wheat flour, sweetened only naturally, and contains 3/4 of one whole banana in a serving. Don’t worry, though – it doesn’t just taste like microwaved banana. It tastes like a nice warm, moist, homestyle muffin straight from the oven. The chocolate chips provide just the right amount of naughtiness, in all their melty wonderfulness. The walnuts add a nice crunch. Even if this is not an effective rebellion against evil teachers, it sure is an effective yummy treat!

Banana Walnut Chocolate Chip Muffin in a Mug

serves 1

mug muffin: moist banana chocolate chip walnut

Ingredients:

  • 3 tbls whole wheat flour
  • 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • scant 1/4 tsp cinnamon
  • 3/4 of a small-ish banana, mashed
  • 1 tbl organic raw agave syrup
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp Earth Balance Original Buttery Spread
  • 1 tbl + 2 tsps water
  • 1 tbl chopped walnuts
  • 1 tbl semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions:

In a mug, combine the flour, baking powder, and cinnamon and mix. Add the mashed banana, agave syrup, vanilla, and the Earth Balance (no need to melt it). Mix until all ingredients are thoroughly incorporated. Mix in some, but not all, of the walnuts and chocolate chips, reserving just a little of each for topping. Add the water; stir.

Microwave the mug with the muffin batter in it for 30 seconds. Remove from microwave to add the remaining walnuts and chocolate chips. Microwave for an additional 38 seconds, or until muffin looks done. (Microwave times do vary, so I recommend just microwaving for 5-10 seconds at a time and checking in between until it looks done.) Be sure not to overcook it so it remains moist.

Let cool for a minute or two, then exact your revenge! (With a spoon!)

moist banana nut chocolate muffin in a mug

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2 responses

  1. No one should ever eat a pastry that came out of sealed plastic wrap. How could you do that to yourself? Not only does your mug muffin sound much better, but you included chocolate!

  2. I’ve never heard of teachers eating in the classroom. How vulgar.

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